INTERNET REDNECK

YOU MIGHT BE A INTERNET REDNECK IF........
YOU START A "PORN WEBSITE" AND YOUR SISTER IS THE GIRL OF THE MONTH.
IF YOUR "WALLPAPER" IS CAMOFLAGE.
IF YOU THINK A "BLOG" IS SOMETHING YOU KILLED LAST YEAR.
IF YOU SAY YOU CANT "ADWORD" BECAUSE THERE ARE NO NUMBERS IN THEM.
IF YOU THINK A "SEARCH ENGINE" IS A DAY AT THE JUNKYARD.
IF YOU THINK "JAVA SCRIPT" IS THE LINES FOR THE CREATURE ON STARWARS.
IF YOU THINK "GOOGLE" IS SOMETHING YOU DO WHEN A PRETTY GIRL WALKS BY.
IF YOU SAY "YAHOO" WHEN YOU KILLED YOUR FIRST BUCK DEER.
IF YOUR "FAVORITES" ARE FILLED WITH ROADSIDE CAFE'S.
IF ALL YOUR "AFFILIATE PROGRAMS" ARE ABOUT HUNTING AND FISHING.
IF YOU THINK AN "ASK CAMPAIGN" IS A NEW HUNTIN SPOT.
IF YOU THINK "TRAFFIC CONVERSION" IS AN ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY.
IF YOU THINK "DRIVING TRAFFIC" IS WHAT YOU DO IN RUSH HOUR TRAFIC EVERY DAY.
IF YOU THINK "FOCUS GENERATOR" IS A NEW ATTACHMENT FOR YOUR BINOCULARS.
IF YOU THINK "QUICKEN" BEST DESCRIBES YOUR LAST DATE.



IF YOU THINK "NAPSTER" IS SOMETHING YOU DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY ON A DEER HUNT.
IF YOU THINK "POWER POINT" HAS TO DO WITH THE HORSEPOWER OF YOU TRUCK.
IF YOU THINK "MY DOCUMENTS" IS ALL YOU DIVORCE PAPERS.
IF YOU THINK "WINDOWS FIREWALL" IS SOMETHING YOU MIGHT BUILD THIS WEEKEND.
IF YOU THINK "POPUP" IS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS ON OCCASION DURING SEX.
IF YOU THINK "POPUP BLOCKER" IS THE HEADACHE YOUR WIFE HAS EVERY NIGHT.
IF YOU THINK "POP OVER" IS GOING TO SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AFTER POPUP BLOCKER HAPPENS.
IF YOU THINK "WWW" STANDS FOR WILD WILD WEST.
IF YOU THINK "PIXELS" ARE THE TALL GRASSY STALKS IN A DUCK BLIND.
IF YOU THINK "MEGA PIXELS" ARE THE BIGGER ONES.
IF YOU THINK "BOLD TEXT" IS IS A BRAVE GUY FROM THE WEST.
IF YOU THINK "BACK UP" IS SOMETHING YOU CANT DO DRUNK.
IF YOUR "PROGRAMS LIST" CONSIST OF SHOWS ONLY FROM THE OUTDOOR CHANNEL.
IF YOU THINK "USER NAME" IS SOMETHING YOU GIVE AT THE BOAT RENTAL PLACE.
IF YOU THINK "REFRESH"MEANS TAKING A SHOWER ONCE A WEEK.
IF YOU THINK :EXCELL" IS SOMETHING YOU DONT DO IN SCHOOL.
IF YOU THINK A "MOUSE" IS THAT FURY CREATURE THAT LIVES UNDER THE REFRIDGERATOR.
IF YOU THINK "UPLOAD" MEANS GETTING YOUR WIFE IN YOUR PICKUP TRUCK.
IF YOU THINK "DOWNLOAD" MEANS GETTIN HER OUT.
IF YOU THINK "MY SPACE" IS THE BROWN LAZY BOY IN FRONT OF THE TV.
IF YOU PARK YOUR TRAILER NEXT TO A STARBUCKS TO GET AN "INTERNET CONNECTION".
IF YOU THINK A "COPYWRITER" IS SOMEONE WHO PLAGERIZES.
IF YOU THINK A "WEB DESIGN" IS IS SOMETHING A SPIDER DID UNDER YOU CHAIR.
IF YOU THINK"SERIAL PORT" IS THE SMALL HOLE YOU TORE IN THE CAPTIAN CRUNCH BAG.



IF YOU THINK "WEBINAR" IS A NEW GRILL YOUR BUDDY PICKED UP FOR SUPERBOWL SUNDAY.
IF YOU GO TO A "INTERNET MARKETING SEMINAR" AND DONT EVEN OWN A COMPUTER.
IF YOU THINK "MACINTOSH" IS A NEW DUO LIKE BROOKS AND DUNN.
IF YOU THINK AN "APPLE" GOES IN A FRUIT SALAD.
IF YOU THINK "DREAMWEAVER" WAS YOUR GRANDPAS NICKNAME WHEN HE DROVE DRUNK.
IF YOU THINK "FRONT PAGE" IS THE COVER OF PLAYBOY MAGAZINE.
IF YOU THINK "ATTATCHMENT" IS A SEXUAL TOY YOUR WIFE MAY USE IN BED TONIGHT.
iF YOU THINK "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL" IS GRANDMAS FAVORITE RECIPE FOR A COLD.
IF YOU THINK "EBOOK" IS SPELLED WRONG.
IF YOU THINK "PAYPAL" IS SOMETHING YOU FORGOT TO DO FOR THE SIXPACK YOUR BUDDY BAUGHT.
IF YOU LOGIN TO "CRAIGSLIST" FOR YOUR NEXT WIFE.
IF A "MEGABITE" IS THE FIRST THING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR SANDWICH.
IF YOU THINK "MEGAHERTZ" IS WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE AFTER A BAR FIGHT.
IF YOU THINK "1MG OF MEMORY" IS ENOUGH TO REMEMBER YOUR WEDDING DAY.